Zombie (Stakeholder) Management Strategy

Today we're going to learn a little about zombie stakeholders. Now, I know you're a little apprehensive.  You don't believe in zombies.  You believe your stakeholders are just a little bit different.  Well, I'm sorry to break it to you but that's not a stubborn human wanting to arm-wrestle you for that last danish.  That there's a zombie!  How else do you explain that persistent stubbornness?  Now, stakeholder zombies are a little different from regular zombies.  Rather than brains, these zombies are highly unique and you much adapt to each one independently.

The Undead Stakeholder

Myths and Realities

Here are some specific background data. The first is a fictitious virus called "Solanum" that creates a zombie. The virus is spread (such as through an open wound, when coming in contact with infected blood or saliva), and treatment is limited (usually amputation).  Now, there was a mutation of the Solanum virus around the time PMI was created.  This mutant virus was known as Solanum-3c (Solanum-3-constraints).  Chances are it will only infect your stakeholders but you, as a project manager, may still be a carrier. In reality, stakeholder zombies walk among us.  You just have to be on your toes when you're around them.  They will try to infect you.  Don't let it happen.

Weapons and Combat Techniques

The weapons at the average project manager's disposal aren't quite a dramatic as those used on regular undead. For regular zombies, a common M1 carbine and the machete are highly effective.  For stakeholder zombies, finding out what's important to them will stop them dead in their tracks.  Different stakeholders have different needs. Zombie stakeholders are no different...with the exception of tattered clothing and a greenish skin tone.  If they say Brai...cooooooost, focus on cost.  If they say Brai...delivery date, focus on the delivery date.  All zombies want brains first.  They can't help it.  But, after that, find out what is important to your zombie stakeholder and make a note of it.

On the Run

If you're dealing with regular zombies, you need to know rules and necessities of traveling through zombie-infested territory. If you're going to drive a car, make sure you have keyless entry and the windows are rolled up.  Do NOT touch the zombies!  If you're dealing with zombie stakeholders, don't run.  If anything, get as close to them as possible.  If given the choice of interacting with them over the phone, through email, or in zombie (in person), choose to interact with them directly.  The more attention you give them, the quicker you can react to them and their needs.

On the Attack

Though some believe in avoiding zombies at all costs, which you should, there are strategies and tools to eradicate zombies from an area.  For zombie stakeholders, we don't want to eradicate them.  Rather, we just want to make them happy.  Find out what makes them happy!  Now attack.

Conclusion

Though you don't want to get close to regular zombies, you should try to engage the zombie stakeholder.  Know what's important to them.  Understand their needs.  I've made the mistake of sitting in a status meeting with regular zombies.  I asked what they wanted to see in the next release.  The answer? Brains.  I asked how could I streamline communications?  The answer? Brains.  I drank my coffee and ran.

Don't think the Solanum-3c virus is limited to stakeholders.  Elizabeth Harrin over at A Girl's Guide to Project Management wrote an excellent post on zombie project managers. Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Graphic: The Daily Pennsylvanian

Assumptions and Constraints

I turned to my wife last week and asked what our plans were for the weekend. She countered by asking me if there was anything specific I wanted to do.  My answer was I wanted to eat somewhere featured on Food Network's Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.  One quick search and a YouTube video later, and we had our Sunday planned. We were headed to Baltimore for lunch at Di Pasquales Marketplace. I could taste it all now. Mmmmm, homemade paste, sausage, and mozzarella.  After lunch, we'd head to the Inner Harbor and enjoy the beautiful weather. This is where my personal story ends and my project management story begins.  As I've said before, everything in life points back to project management.

Imagine our weekend adventure was a project.  We planned our little outing for Sunday.  We assumed Di Pasquales was open on Sunday.  We were wrong.  We discovered if we wanted to go to Di Pasquales, our time constraint was Monday thru Friday: 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. or Saturday: 9 a.m. - 6 p.m.  Fortunately, we had a plan B.  Always have a plan B! I added our trip to the backlog and we picked the next highest priority from the list.

Here's my little read world project management advice for today.

1. Don't start a project, until you know your assumptions and constraints.
2. Get buyin from stakeholders to ensure you are all in agreement on priorities.
3. When making a proposal, always have a plan B.

Since we were not able to go, perhaps we'll go next weekend.  Regardless, if we had not identified our assumptions and constraints, we could have found ourselves eating somewhere less desirable and "wasting" the day.

Brain eating Zombie PMs

There are 3 things that spark my attention faster than anything.

1. Coffee

2. Zombies

3.

Damn ADD robbed me of my thought!

But I digress.

This morning, I read a blog post by Elizabeth Harrin titled Zombie Project Management. It reminded me of a series I read by Geoff Crane titled 9 Destructive Project Management Behaviors, which you can get for free by following the link. I really enjoyed her post and I hope you go over to her website and check it out.

Elizabeth wrote

So, what is Zombie PM? Does this sound like someone you know?

They do exactly what they are told without challenging anythingThey don’t come up with original ideasThey don’t suggest ways to improve the project management processesThey don’t follow up on actions – they simply assume they will get doneThey update and issue the plan in a format that most of the team can’t read or understandThey work on projects that deliver no business valueThey go through the motions of being a project manager but without any critical thinking applied

To answer Elizabeth's question, yes, I see these zombies every day. These zombies contribute to what is defined as the Iron Law of Bureaucracy. It states, in any bureaucratic organization there will be two kinds of people: those who work to further the actual goals of the organization, and those who work for the organization itself. One example in project management, would be PMs who work hard and look for ways to deliver value to the customer, versus PMs who work to protect any defined process (including those with no value). The Iron Law states that in ALL cases, the second type of person will always gain control of the organization, and will always write the rules under which the organization functions.

These zombies don't eat brains, they eat time and resources in the name of project management! So, sooner or later, zombies will take over your project. Be afraid. Be very afraid!

The Story of Monte Carlo

Once upon a weekday meeting, I had a story to tell.  It was the tale of a project manager, who’s name really rings a bell. He quantified the total project cost, he didn’t miss a dime. He also computed the schedule, he was always aware of the time.

He used all these input values, with random amounts being his friend. He ran these simulations.  I thought they would never end.

The outcome was a distribution, a bell curve if you like.  On the edges we saw some low points, in the middle there was a spike.

Monte Carlo was this fellow’s name, he was a heck of a numbers guy.  We asked him if he ever made things up.  He said he would merely quantify.

Now don’t think Monte worked alone, he had a counterpart.  Her name was Jane Stake-Holder, he worked with her from the start.

Jane could be quite demanding, sometimes ignoring project scope.  But Monte managed the situation well, knowing creep was a slippery slope.

His technique was well documented, a change would make everything slip.  He told this to Jane Stake-Holder who you'd think would do a back-flip.

But numbers don't lie and neither did he, Jane knew Monte would put up a fight.  She backed down and submitted a change request, the schedule would extend to the right.

Graphic: Pictofigo

A Critical Path Facelift

After having the same look on my website for over 2 years, I think it's time for a facelift.  So, if you come to the site within the next week and notice things looking a little different, don't fret!  In addition to the frontend changes, I plan to move the site over to PowerVPS (Virtacore Systems), who hosts my other sites.  So, grab yourself a fresh cup of coffee (or tea) and continue enjoying my rants and insights. If you think the graphic above looks a little like me drawing a Critical Path, you should go to Pictofigo and check out their other offerings.  Thank you again to Pictofigo for doing such an awesome job!

Regards,

Derek

Warning – Use of PM Force Authorized

We went to an airshow this last weekend. Being I was in the Marines some 20+ years ago and spent the best of my time in the air in a helicopter, it was like a trip down memory lane. I loved the smells and sounds of the flightline. I even got to walk onto a CH-53.  It was the first time since May 09, 1990.  But I digress. Upon arriving at the airshow, I noticed a warning was painted on the flightline that made me clap my hands like a cymbal-banging monkey. My wife took a picture so I could somehow relate it to project management in a future blog post.

Here is my Project Management translation:

WARNING

Efficiently Managed Project

It is unacceptable to do work on this project without motivated individuals. Give them the environment and support they need, and trust them to get the job done.

Principle 5 Agile Manifesto of 2001 - February 11-13

While on this project all team members and the work under their control are subject to refinement.

USE OF PROJECT MANAGEMENT FORCE AUTHORIZED

The Iron Law of Bureaucracy versus ICAgile

I was listening to This Week in Tech #264  and one of the guests was Jerry Pournelle. Though it's not necessary to go into the details of the NetCast, Jerry said something that had me scrambling for the rewind button.  He referred to his Iron Law of Bureaucracy. (Jerry) Pournelle'sIronLaw of Bureaucracy states that in any bureaucratic organization there will be two kinds of people: those who work to further the actual goals of the organization, and those who work for the organization itself. One example in education would be teachers who work and sacrifice to teach children, versus union representatives who work to protect any teacher (including the most incompetent). The IronLaw states that in ALL cases, the second type of person will always gain control of the organization, and will always write the rules under which the organization functions.

I then watched a Ted Talk titled The Child-Driven Education.  There were three statements by Sugata Mitra that I want to reference.

1. Self-organizing system: Is where the system structure appears without explicit intervention from outside the system.

2. Emergence: The appearance of a property not previously observed as a functional characteristic of the system.

3. Speculation: Education is a self-organizing system, where learning is an emergent phenomenon.

So, what does this have to do with Project Management?  The organizational machine that is the Project Management certification ecosystem has become that second group Jerry Pournelle identifies.  There is now an entire industry dedicated to certifying people and keeping them certified, including the most incompetent. There is no focus on educating people in best practices, delivering value to customers, or increasing project success rates.

On the other end of the spectrum are the visionaries, the mentors, and coaches.  This is where I make my speculation.

Keep your eyes on the International Consortium of Agile (ICAgile).  At ICAgile, the certification path is divided into three main phases; a Fundamentals Phase, a Focus Track Phase, and a Certification Phase.  It's not all about getting certifications.  It's about educating and learning.  In the Fundamentals Phase, the goal is to educate the attendee with the values, principles and basic practices of Agile.  Having garnered the fundamentals of agile in the first phase, The Focus Track Development phase will have different tracks to choose from.  This will allow people to focus being educated in different functional areas like Project Management, Business Analysis, and Testing. Only after completing the courses in a focus track, will the applicant is eligible for the ICAgile "Professional" certificate.

I'm very bullish on ICAgile educating and people learning.

Being Agile is self-organizing by nature, does ICAgile have the unique opportunity to prove the Iron Law of Bureaucracy wrong?

Graphic: Pictofigo

Why Agile Might Not Work (Video)

I was minding my own business when I noticed a tweet by Alistair Cockburn.  He clearly thought something was funny so I figured I'd check it out.  What awaited me was this video.  If you understand Agile or just interested about it, you should spend the next 3 minutes and 14 seconds enjoying a creative perspective on why Agile might not work for you.  It's very tongue-and-cheek.  The slideshow it was based on was located on the PMI website.  Since the site was updated, it isn't clear where it went.